Making Friends and Fitting In at College

For some people making friends is easy. For the rest of us it can be the scariest part of starting something new. But college is the best time to make friends, and the easiest too! The most important thing to remember as a freshman is that everyone wants to make friends as much as you do!

Here are my 7 steps for making friends and finding you place in College! (PS If you're not a freshman skip to #7)

1.     In Your First Few Weeks: be super friendly and start up conversations with random people, this is something that you can only get away with as a freshman, so take advantage of it. Don't be intimidated by upperclassmen, most of us get excited to meet freshman and hear about how they are liking school. The cafeteria is a great place to start making friends, so sit down with someone you don't know and introduce yourself!

2.     The first few weeks of college will be the best time to start making friends, but don't worry if you haven't found your future bestie after one month. Many of the friends you make at the beginning will start to slowly drift away and be replaced with people that you have more in common with and get along better with. This may sound harsh, but everyone will find their place eventually.

3.     Join clubs and organizations in the first few months. Attend your school's club fair at the beginning of the year and find something that sounds interesting to you. Don't overwhelm yourself with ten different organizations, but pick 1-3 and start going to their meetings! You might not love them after the first meeting, but give them a few weeks. If you still aren't enjoying yourself or making friends after five meetings, then you can consider leaving the club or sticking with it to see if it gets better. In all likelihood it will get better and you will start making friends.

4.     When second semester starts consider joining another organization or rushing for a fraternity or sorority. I didn't know when I started at university that there was such a thing as a professional fraternity, and my opinion of social fraternities was low. But I know so many people who have made so many friends through groups like these. A warning though: rushing and pledging will likely be a big time commitment.

5.     Keep trying! Fitting in and making friends does not happen over night, and it is harder for some than for others. Don't compare yourself with everyone else. And know that a lot of people may not be as popular as they seem. When you get to know your peers you might just find that they get lonely too.

6.     Get out there and try something new! I read something once that said "do what scares you", I think this is a perfect motto for college. If you decide to go to a school event ask yourself "what's the worst thing that could happen?" It's probably not that bad. If you've always wanted to learn how to play tennis, sign up for a class! If you've love World of War Craft, there's probably a student organization centered around gamers. And if you can't seem to find a club or a class that piques your interest, find some students and start your own club!

7.     It's never too late to start making friends! You will gain friends and lose friends during your time at college. If you're feeling lonely or like you don't fit in, you just need to keep trying and keep putting yourself out there. You're never going to make friends sitting alone in your room eating Nutella by the spoonful! Join a new club at the beginning of the semester and start meeting new people! You might think it's odd to join clubs after your first year and it seems like everyone else is already settled, but it's really not. Regard every semester as a new start!

Taking a short trip with new friends is a great way to bond!
This photo is from when I studied abroad in England.
We all became closer after a few days exploring London!

Your four (or more) years in college will leave you with tons of awesome memories, and some lifelong friends. If you were shy in high school and had a hard time making friends, don't start freaking out! College is your chance for a fresh start. So immerse yourself in clubs and school activities and you might find that you're not as shy as you were last year! The university is a place of change and growth, so get out there and start becoming who you want to be!